I am always very capable of persecuting myself. I will not learn to save myself until there is no way to advance and retreat.. I thought I was sober enough to retire when all the flowers were gone. Red mud did not touch the sleeves of the skirt and the incense did not stay in the old clothes. As the days passed, I gradually understood. From beginning to end, this was just my self-deception and concealment.. If so, I wouldn’t end up so haggard, just a few dusk.     You’re just a few words. How can you miss me? I can’t follow my heart and say those tender and missed words. My heart seems to have thousands of threads that are pestering me with joy. I want to destroy it countless times and then quickly. But after countless times, the pain still remains..     It was because of the crushing pain that I felt at this moment that I understood more clearly that everything I had experienced was so real. Even if there were only a few memories left of the broken one day, the sunset surging waves and the snow-covered ancient road, I could not make it disappear without a trace..     Time is hard to stop. Maybe we both forget and be forgotten, and at the same time, we also have the same silence as if we wanted to destroy ourselves. I do, and so do everyone..     I can imagine the sufferings of the world, just like me, because I live in this world full of feelings, but now I know better, not because I can be merciful. For those who do not allow me to give warmth, I can only destroy myself again and again to grieve with you, pain to the soul, can I give you some comfort?.     I want to throw everything away and get rid of this deep-rooted sadness, but the light and shadow are cool and warm, the tears are shallow and deep, and people are still as old as before..     But there is no way to compromise in fate. I can only rely on the courage I have left to survive and bear it silently with a happy attitude. I simply want to knock out these sad feelings and empty my life.. Longitudinal I understand, everything is useless.     Maybe this is my life, how can I refuse its true face.